Dear Sir,
It came as a great shock to me when I returned from my workout to find the padlock on my locker cut off and my wallet and house keys missing.
Not only is it a sincere inconvenience to me, being a traveller in a foreign country and having all my cards, keys and identification in unknown hands, but it is moreso because I'm a recent graduate with very little cash, trying to set up a business to live off and as such really haven't the time or the energy to bother with lowlife scum such as yourself. The business of cancelling and replacing all the cards in the wallet is a very frustrating experience to undertake, and is indeed something I could have done without on a lovely day such as this.
Please know, I hope that not only do you accidentally trip over while running merrily through the park and snap your neck on a tap, but that you also sever your corotid artery on a rogue shard of glass placed delicately in whatever food (or drugs??) you have decided to purchase with my money.
Not only does myself and the rest of humanity wish you would rot like an expired pidgeon carcass, but we also all wish that you die soon, because you're currently breathing valuable air that could be better spent on sewer rats.
In closing, please do not think of me as hateful.
I'm merely interested in the idea of karma, and as I know I am not the first victim of your cowardice and lack of humanity, I hope that when karma gets you back, it's so devastatingly powerful and extreme in it's retribution that your very being is smooshed into a mound of stinky gunk which is stomped into the sidewalk.
Do have a nice day.
Kind regards,
Jimzip :D
Sunday, July 23, 2006
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7 thoughts are now mine:
I CONCUR!
STUPID PRICK!!!! dont worry jamie, if he doesnt snap his neck on a tap he'll probably overdose in some crack den...hopefully. Oh my god i cant believe he stole ur wallet and your keys!!! :(
hope ur ok,
il email u the rest of my outrage
love liss
Aw.. Thanks Mim. ;)
Jimzip :D
aw... well, if hes lucky, he drop into a hidden trap, where the spiked walls close in ever so slowly and where barry manilow is played to the sounds of his death rattle. What filth.
Tim: Indeed! Haha, I should add that particular method to the list! (I've also been notified that choking on uncooked maggi noodles is a particularly uncomfortable way to go..)
But yeah, I'm not really as angry as my blog post suggested, I just wanted to get some of that out..
See you soon!
Jimzip :D
It's a late comment I know. But that was awesome! I hope he accidentally falls into an industrial pressurising tank and that the sheer force collapses both of his lungs and drives his ribcage ungracefully through his spleen and other vital organs. This way he will both suffocate from lack of oxygen whilst simultaneously drowning on his various disgustingly coloured body fluids.. and all before his brain explodes! hAHaAHaaaa. Mmmm, for some reason I keep thinking of the name Louise, weird.
Haha. That's awesome.
Cheers dub-dawg! (Get it? Cause I thought W, but then that was too long.. So I shortened it to dub.. which sounded cooler.. then dawg.. Ah you get it..)
Jimzip :D
Yeah that is a fair kick in the pants, especially in your situation.
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